Girls in Dior… Karoline Bjrønelykke @ TEAM Models
I got my hands on this vintage Christian Dior top a couple of years ago thinking that I’d be small enough to fit it. But from mistakes come great ideas… Girls in Dior.
A girl, vintage statement Dior, my camera and their personality.
Aujourd’hui, Karoline adore Dior.
Ph. Private (Canon EOS M)
Shirt Acne & Mr Porter // Jeans Tommy Hilfiger
Whenever I think of rain, I immediately think of Whitney Houston‘s “Where Do Broken Hearts Go?”, as her melodious voice flies on against the rain pouring outside her window. Something about drops of water falling down seems to relate to melancholy and sadness. Perhaps, it is an illusion that the clouds above tear a droplet through the sky, dropping into the ground, just as a tear runs down slowly, caressing the cheek. Falling, from up to down, sounds defeating. Truly a depressive thought.
Yet how is it that something as pure as water, can suddenly turn into such an overbearing emotion, when turned into droplets from above? After all, it is just water.
Water is not only the source of life, but in human nature, a vital role within belief, myth and history. Civilisations flourished along rivers of Persia, China and Egypt. The purifying powers of water are still used within Indian culture as thousands of people pay pilgrimage to the Ganges River to this day. Water is such a strong part of our nature that our ancestors revered and respected it through the god of water. Poseidon, Neptune, Njord, Yam, and so on, humans recognised water’s power to create and destroy. All in all, to create balance.
I guess I’m not really that religious or spiritual, although some may argue that I am or should be. Anyhow, water falling down from the sky extends further than a song, further than a story, and further than an emotion. As water touches my skin, a sort of relief caresses within. Problems washed away, naked and exposed, I feel true. Beyond what mass society speaks of rain, to me it is liberation and coming clean.
Coming clean seems to be key. In a society where competitive and aggressive nature is applauded, washing away all barriers and facing the real you seems to have become taboo. Perhaps it’s the fear to come clean, that keeps rain as a melancholic act of nature, not a process of relief. It truly isn’t a matter of the glass of water being half empty, or half full. It is rather about the water within and the ability to see it beyond the glass. It is only then that truth reveals itself.
So dropping away from metaphor and symbolic writing, sometimes you have to stand and walk through the rain. Come Clean might be a Hilary Duff song, but for me it is more than a pop song on a music staff. It is a pilgrimage to the person within and the discovery of something new. Defeating sadness, it’s best to literally sing in the rain and rejoice at the thought of coming clean. All secrets aside, exposed, almost naked and bare, yet at last, the real person within. Let the rain fall on.
“Some people walk in the rain, others just get wet.” (Roger Miller).
Shirt COS // Trousers Maison Martin Margiela // Bowtie Gideon&Son // Watch Triwa // Shoes ECCO
I like to say the word chaos out loud. Such a small word, yet such powerful meaning. According to religion or mass definition, chaos is the state in which all righteousness is gone, all is disorganised and destruction is abound. As chaos takes over, the world seems out of control and without purpose. Even the meaning of the word, coming from Greek, explains of chaos as a dark, vast abyss of confusion. Yet knowing this, I still like saying the word chaos. I actually have grown to learn that I like chaos around me.
Perhaps it’s the fact that I’ve grown up in a life filled with surprises and twists around the corner. Or maybe it’s the fact that I’ve never felt quite at home in any place I’ve lived. Or even the fact that I’m just a person quite different from the rest. Whatever it may be, I used to look into all of these items with disdain and disgust. Weaknesses. Yet with time, I’ve realised that it’s these things that create a complicated person and a chaotic nature within me. I started thinking, could it be that some people are prone to chaos? If so, is it as mass society would perhaps think, a path of self-destruction? The answer was more than a simple equation at hand.
I never used to like mathematics, but I was always good at it. In the movie Mean Girls, Cady Heron mentions she likes math “cause it’s the same in every country“. Perhaps that rule applies to me, as well. It is when looking into chaos from such a perspective that a moment of eureka sparkles up. The chaos theory is a field of study within mathematics that studies the behavior of dynamical systems that are highly sensitive to initial conditions. In simpler, poorer words, it is a study describing how random events are actually predictable from simple deterministic equations. Predictability within unpredictability. Suddenly, what is uncertain is somehow certain, and so on. A continuous loop.
What intrigued me more is how such chaos is depicted through the Lorenz system, which is a set of chaotic solutions of the Lorenz system which, when plotted, resemble a butterfly. Beauty within numbers. Suddenly, chaos turned into a different shade. No longer is it a state of uncertainty and confusion, but rather an intriguing way of life. I’m not going to go as far as to say that human lives and events can be determined through equations, yet I got intrigued how chaos within numbers could in turn, reveal a marvellous result.
Then, I remembered every moment where things seemed like they fell out of place. Perhaps they weren’t falling out of place, but rather falling in place on the long run. Perhaps at that moment, it was indeed a twist and a turn, yet later on, it was part of larger project. My butterfly. And then, I realised that the perfection so many humans crave for is perhaps the most obsolete goal to man. It is within the imperfection, you find perfection. Thus, harmony within chaos.
Chaos may well by definition be darkness and abyss, yet not only in math but rather real life, chaos is a delicate butterfly unfolding, turning, continuing, and flying on.
“Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence.” (Buddha).
Jeans Cheap Monday
Today, I felt weak. As a matter of fact, I have been feeling weak quite a long time. It is a bit funny how things that before enlightened you, do not seem significant anymore. I used to literally laugh out loud, while saying to friends and acquaintances the famous phrase “Money doesn’t buy happiness, but I’d much rather cry in a Mercedes Benz than in a Toyota“. Yet this present day, I don’t really find the fun part as appealing. It’s not like I have been lying to myself. Yes, I work within fashion. I am a materialistic person. I like things. But have I let things run my life? If so, is the idea of “having many things” the reason to weakness? That answer is the easy way out.
The truth is that I don’t think I can recall what being strong really is. I have felt it, but when I question myself, I can’t seem to give myself an honest answer. Perhaps it’s my “sceptic” (or what some people may call angry) look on pictures, but it seems that people see me as an overconfident, sure of himself kind of person, maybe almost cocky. I know this by heart. After all, you are how you behave or the persona you portray. Logically, a castle is only as strong as its’ walls, moat and overall, its’ exterior. Therefore, I built my castle: An image of an unafraid person. In work, it translates into a workaholic person with a high drive and energy for it all. In fashion, it translates into a stylish person, unafraid of unconventional ideas in clothing and design. And in plain old life, it translates into a loud, opinionated person with an optimistic view on life. Could that tough, strong wall protect and build the castle into a flourishing work of art? I thought so.
Yet as ancient Greek mythology tells, all heroes have an Achilles heel. I might not have been a hero, but at times I felt quite invincible. Within my own domain, of course. Having a strong exterior had become such a commodity, that I forgot and neglected the inside. My Achilles moment came and my whole wall somehow tumbled down. Exposed. It lead me to think about the true essence of actual strength. Who am I when it is all stripped away? When you stand there naked, both physically and emotionally, can you see the same strength you once thought you had? For the first time in a long time, I felt weak.
So, I have been feeling weak. Thinking, reflecting and trying to building the castle from the inside is not an easy task at hand, yet a golden moment came afloat. Society seems to condemn the exposed, the ones unable to take care of themselves, the weak. On the other hand, great men in all areas have risen from weakness and turned it into their strength. Ludwig Van Beethoven‘s deafness became no impediment on the creation of some of classical music’s greatest works of art. Napoleon Bonaparte‘s weakness through his short height complex only gave him strength to be a man “larger” than he was. Vincent Van Gogh‘s depressions and mental stability carried him to paint masterpieces, and set a ground tone for the Impressionist era within art. Suddenly, feeling weak did not seem like such a burden.
I realised that in order to feel and be strong, you have to know what being weak feels like. No up is gained without there being a down first. The question is how you turn that weakness into a part of your strength. I might not paint great masterpieces, compose great symphonies, or conquer countries and continents, yet I found my own self victory. Feeling strong is about building that inside simultaneously as the outside. Being exposed might have exposed my true self to others, but it also revealed who I was within.
I am 26 years old, and I have been hiding behind my “things“. Fashion or no fashion, I have been blind in the darkness, lurking away. What my final strength turns into and becomes is not as relevant anymore, but rather having the strength to step into the light and the process into it. Yes, today I felt weak, but I can finally open my eyes and somewhere out there, I see light.
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places” (Ernest Hemingway).
Girls in Dior… Mathilde K @ TEAM Models
I got my hands on this vintage Christian Dior top a couple of years ago thinking that I’d be small enough to fit it. But from mistakes come great ideas… Girls in Dior.
A girl, vintage statement Dior, my camera and their personality.
Aujourd’hui, Mathilde adore Dior.
Ph. Private (Canon EOS M)